Day 6

I find myself thinking of him again,

I find myself lost on his charm,

I find myself lost.

Im about to go to bed, and dream with him again,

I dont know what to do, the more i try not to think about him,

If I find someone new, Someone good,

the more I try to push him in, I end up pushing him away.

Im my own traidor, Im the one stucking the nife on my back,

im the one who's making me weaker.

Im my own enemy, William is just the way.

Day 5

Another guy I end up pushing away becasue of william,
Im just so confused, lost.. i really dont know what to do,
I feel that if I completely move on, im cheating on William,
if I forget everything, or if I act like I did. the guilt.

The past few days I've been remembering all the details,
all of him. I cant still remember the taste of lips, and if I try hard I can even hear his voice.
The things I would do to look into his big dreammy blue eyes again,
to touch his soft creamy white skin, to kiss his perfecly designed lips,
ohhh!, the things I would do!

I feel empty inside, lost, like I said, William gave me so much, aand took eveything when he left,
now I dont have anything, I have nothing. just this feeling of pain, surrow,
love is a funny thing, love can me you the strogest person alive, and left you like the weakest
can make you a better person, a richer person, and then, guess what?; If love gave you all,
love defenetely can take more.

I used to believe in love, I had this desire of finding true love, and spend the rest of my days with that person, I still do, but in a much much smaller amount. When you fill like i do, you feel like you have this 200 pound over weight on your cheast, you can hardly breath, and its like all your energy has been taken.

I do pray for this to end, for me to find hapiness or even peace out off this situation.

I found my perfect guy, and I was stupid enought to let him go, Now I wont make the same misstakes, I wont turn my back and leave it all to "faith".


William, Oh my sweet William, am I ever gonna be able to forget you?

Day 4

I havent had that dream again, it feels weird but good weird, I think. I met someone, he is tall and has blonde hair, white, blue eyes... hahaha sound familiar?!.. he is nice, we kissed but he is leaving just like he did, and it just hurts again, he reminds me how painfull it was to watch the guy I loved go.

I started to remember all the things we did, how he kissed, he was an amazing kisser. He could make you feel everething and nothing, he could make your skin sparkle and burn. why this is happening again?, I do want to feel that again, and meet a guy who is perfect but stays here.

The guy name is paolo, he is funny and I love funny guys. He took me to this club and we dance ahd flirt and dance, after 3:30 am, we went back to his house and kissed, and talk and i stay over... we actualy spend the night...

its weird I dont feel bad at all... for a while he wake me as happy as I was before...